Disagree without Disgust

We live in a free society which allows for you to disagree with just about everybody about one thing or another. We are not forbidden to express our opinions and positions (that is, until recently). Because of that, we can listen to people who think differently, and, we can learn from them. Or, we can hate their guts.

It seems we are opting for the latter option rather than the former. Rather than honing our own positions, having properly understood the other’s position, and then clarifying the points at which those positions rub - we stop listening, and we demonize those with whom we disagree. We develop an attitude of disgust. This is not good practice for citizens of a free society. It is not acceptable for those who profess to be followers of Jesus.

Let’s take this problem off the street and see how it plays out at home. Picture a husband and wife. They have a disagreement. Maybe it’s about the kids and what freedoms or disciplines to enact. Maybe it’s about how to communicate boundaries to a zealous in-law. It doesn’t really matter. Disagreements happen. They are allowed. And you would think that this couple could talk and disagree, and talk some more - give it some time - go on a walk together, and listen, think around the issue, and talk some more. Or, on the other hand, they could just stop listening and talking. She (in her head - not out loud) calls him a bonehead, or worse. He (in his head - not out loud) calls her a witch, or worse. And, not surprisingly, they begin to despise each other.

In the first instance of disagreement, the couple eventually comes to an understanding. And, they end up loving each other all the more for having gone through the difficult process. But in the second scenario, they get a divorce. You don’t live long with someone with whom you are disgusted. But know this. The decision to allow disagreement to proceed to disgust was yours, and yours alone. We can absolutely disagree without disgust, whether at home, or on the street.

Are you disgusted with someone who was a political candidate? We disagree with all of them at some point. But are you disgusted? You have then crossed a line that is not civil, nor Christian. The points of disagreement might reach to areas that are very serious, even sacred, like disagreements about the value of human life. But allowing the disagreement in your mind to give way to disgust in your heart - that spillover is your problem. And, it’s a problem.